Natalia Mirosz

Are computer games good for kids?

On the one hand, computer games have a positive effect on the child's development, support coordination, help to get rid of excess emotions and stimulate the mental development of children. On the other hand, they can lead to the development of aggression and computer addiction. In the article below, we will take a closer look at the pros and cons of computer games, and you will draw your own conclusions.

Children can have a number of benefits from computer games, first of all, research on the usefulness of computer games as an educational technique allows to state that computer games stimulate the child's mental development and increase the so-called cognitive activity, which is an important factor for success in learning. Using a computer, and especially playing games, supports hand-eye coordination (a process whose proper development is a prerequisite for acquiring knowledge and school skills), as it requires a high reaction speed and often three-dimensional interpretation of two-dimensional images. By playing the game, the child stimulates all his senses and learns to coordinate them. In addition to following what is happening on the screen using the joystick or the computer keyboard, the child also experiences tactile sensations - they must coordinate hand movements with what is happening on the screen. Secondly, computer games also have a positive effect on the development of a child's language skills, if we take care of it. It will be easier for a child to play a completely Polish game, although it is worth choosing the English version with Polish subtitles, thanks to which the child will be familiar with the language, remember certain phrases, and he will do all this while having fun, thanks to which he will not be aware that he is learning and will remember more.

Apart from the benefits of computer games presented above, there are also risks and threats associated with them. Scientific research proves the negative impact, especially of aggressive and violent content contained in computer games or on the Internet. Playing games or other forms of contact with content that contains aggressive elements leads to aggressive behavior - that is, children imitate what they see on the screen. Research conducted among young children - as opposed to studies of adolescents and older adolescents - confirm that they actually become more aggressive after contact with a game with elements of violence or watching films with such a color. A younger child, left with a game containing elements of aggression and violence, cannot separate good from evil and is more affected by it. Its nervous system is still immature and cannot select the excess of stimuli flowing from the screen, emotions are unstable and are more susceptible to harmful influences, which is why it is so important for the parent to choose a game or website for the child - devoid of excess aggression. And if such a game happens, e.g. given as a gift or borrowed from a friend, accompany the child during its use and provide appropriate explanations in a language that he understands.

To sum up, computer games have their advantages and disadvantages, but it is up to us, parents, which ones will prevail. Games can be a great support for a child's education, and also be a fun form of entertainment for him. On the other hand, games with inappropriate content and in excess can hurt the child. You always have to look for the "golden mean" and wisely divide the time spent in front of the computer screen or console and the time when the child spends on other activities, including outdoor activities.

by Natalia Mirosz

All faces of fear of failure

Your child refuses to participate in a school soccer match. When everyone is playing with the neighbor's rabbit, he puts his hands in his pocket and swears that he does not like animals. He doesn't feel like going to a ski camp. He's never been bowling, and he doesn't want to go there - it's a stupid game. What this is about?

Fear of failure can make one big minefield all over the world - everything can go wrong. What if during the match I slip on the grass, give the ball wrong, my team gets angry at me? What if the rabbit bites me? Maybe, I don't have skiing talent like my mother and I just disappoint her? This type of anxiety can effectively discourage your child from trying new things, enjoying the fun and company of friends. It's worth knowing how to deal with it.

Recognize fear of failure

A child who experiences fear of failure wants to be seen as resourceful and brave. Rather, he will not tell us that he simulated a stomachache before Kasia's from IVa birthday party, so as not to participate in games where he could fail. What child behaviors should arouse the parent's vigilance? Repetitive refusals to participate in activities with peers or older children (he is happy to play with toddlers, because their games are so easy that they always come out victorious), reluctance to play with people whom he cares about , perfectionism, frequent abdominal pain and other somatic symptoms before important events (school performance, first trip to the ice rink). It should also be alarming to take up activities only in a very limited group (e.g. with mom, one friend) and to give up challenges posed, e.g. at school, using words like "It's too easy for me", "It's boring", "I don't like it today wants".

Break the vicious circle

A child who is afraid will try to move as far as possible from the source of his fear - as soon as possible and for the longest time. He can pretend indisposition not to go to the pool with his friends because he swims poorly and is afraid of being compromised. He can also postpone studying to the class and open the textbook only on the day preceding the test. Laziness has nothing to do with it - simply not taking actions associated with anxiety temporarily helps you deal with it. However, this is not a favorable strategy - if it is not noticed and corrected at an early stage, it can become a well-established pattern of action that will be difficult to change. How can you help your child? Encourage them to confront difficult situations - first in a safe environment and with support - parents, siblings, friends. It is worth showing that problems should be solved immediately, without undue delay, it will help to avoid the build-up of tension to a level that the child will find difficult to bear.

Bet on commitment

A child who experiences the fear of failure focuses on the effect of his actions - he only sees the final. A change of perspective can be very useful. If a child participates in a school long jump competition, all he sees is that he achieved last position. How to make him think that he will spend a lot of time with his friends, be able to put on a new sports outfit, while waiting for his turn may make some interesting acquaintances? Instead of praising the effect, praise for commitment. Note that the kid sat down to the lesson, not that he did everything flawlessly. Toddler smeared the whole kitchen with jam preparing a sandwich. Before cleaning, let him hear a kind word about his independence. If this is not enough for him to look differently at his failures, think about whether he had the opportunity to see how others deal with failures. Perhaps in his opinion, he is surrounded by ideal people, who mishaps never happen? It is worth showing your child that failures happen to everyone - it is important to be able to rise after them.

Learning to deal with failures is not only about improving the quality of life of the child - both in the context of school learning, as well as social contacts and emotional maturity. This is a very important resource that will pay off in the future when a teenager, and later a young adult, begins an independent life. So, let's take your hands out of your pocket now and pet the rabbit.

Bibliography:

Shaw, M. (1999). Dziecięce lęki: o wychowaniu dziecka w świecie, który napawa je lękiem. Poznań: Wydawnictwo Moderski i S-ka.

by Natalia Mirosz

Help your child deal with stress

Nowadays, more and more often we can hear about the harmful effects of stress on human health. The fight against this invisible perpetrator of tension begins on the day of birth and accompanies us throughout our lives. It is most visible when the child starts learning. Suddenly, he faces new tasks, he is increasingly subjected to an assessment of his own actions, new social relationships appear in which the child wants to be seen in a positive light. All this can cause a strong emotional tension. How children learn to minimize the effects of stress affects their entire lives. The purpose of this text is to show parents what stress is and how to help a child relieve tension caused by various situations.

STRESS – WHAT IS IT?

In general, stress means an adaptive relationship between human capabilities and the demands of the environment. The above definition shows that the environment is full of various stressors affecting individuals.

In psychology, three forms of stress response are distinguished: eustress, distress, and neustress. The first form, or eustress, turns out to be mobilizing. What does this mean in practice? Tension caused by various stimuli - e.g. stress before the test provokes the mobilization of the body to reduce this tension. Ultimately, in our example, it forces us to learn. However, when the state of tension persists for a very long time and exceeds the individual threshold of stress resistance, we will talk about the adverse effects of distress. It appears when a student has several tests at one time, and a lot of other duties arising from extra-curricular activities. It is highly probable that he will feel tension causing slow exhaustion of the body's mobilization capacity. How can it manifest itself? First of all, the person is becoming more and more nervous, more and more often he is unable to cope with the current situation, there are problems with concentration, and there is also a decrease in motivation. In extreme situations, if you do not try to reduce the intensity of stress, you may develop neurotic or mood disorders.

RESISTANCE TO STRESS IN CHILDREN'S AGE

As mentioned in the introduction, the fact, how a child learns to cope with stress will have a huge impact on its later functioning. A good example would be people who had the so-called "too high bar" - they can develop a tendency to avoid stress responses. In adult life, they can also avoid difficult situations for fear of failure. In extreme cases, anxiety disorders may develop, e.g. social phobia.

It is therefore worth considering whether our children have too many responsibilities. Sometimes, they want to attend as many classes as possible, without realizing that it will be difficult to cope with the excess of duties. What can a parent do in such a situation? First of all, talk to your child and realize that if he feels that he can't cope with all the activities, he can give up at any time. Children are often ashamed to admit to their parents that they will not cope with the challenge because they want to impress them. An important element in raising children is the right way to motivate to act. Choosing words on the principle of "you have to manage", "you are not stupid than others", "do it for parents" etc. is inappropriate and causes the child to feel guilty at the time of failure.

To reduce tension when your child faces a difficult challenge, explain to him that fear is normal. You can give examples of situations in which you feel tension. Remember to explain to your child that if he fails, nothing will really happen! Let them draw conclusions in this situation and treat it as a lesson for the future.

In this way, we protect the child against reduced well-being and give the opportunity to self-assess in a rational way, without the so-called cognitive distortions caused by a specific situation.

WAYS TO COMBINE WITH STRESS

In everyday life, it is worth introducing various forms of stress relief from an early age. A helpful idea might be to offer your child a common time to spend on rest from their daily duties. It is worth considering going out to the pool, relaxing training, playing outside, breathing exercises etc. In fact, any method that allows you to break away from the daily routine will have a mutual, positive aspect. Both the parent and child then have the opportunity to relax and also strengthen their mutual emotional bond.

BIBLIOGRAPHY

Reykowski J., Funkcjonowanie osobowości w warunkach stresu psychologicznego, PWN, Warszawa 1966.

Wrześniewski K., Psychologiczne uwarunkowania powstawania i rozwoju chorób somatycznych [w:] Strelau J., (red.), Psychologia. Podręcznik akademicki, t. 3, GWP, Gdańsk 2005.

by Natalia Mirosz

How to learn?

Bad grade justified by a surprising form of test? Or maybe the so-called "Overwhelming" as the main culprit for the weakening of motivation and, as a result, low results? These can be the consequences of incorrect selection of learning strategies and lack of knowledge on how to effectively absorb knowledge. It's worth knowing how to talk to a child who is less and less eager to learn.

Learning at school is focused on acquiring knowledge and acquiring skills - but often students do not know what tools to use while learning. So, they use very inefficient methods. They can lead to reduced motivation or learned helplessness, ultimately extend the time of learning and take away the chance to pursue a hobby or meeting with friends. A parent who knows the basics of the learning process can be a great consultant on effective learning.

Individual approach to learning

This time it is not about an individual approach to the child, but to the material to be assimilated. It is worth teaching a child the habit of assessing the content they intend to learn. Depending on the specific material, choose the right method. The fact that most of the time should be reserved for long and difficult material should not surprise anyone. Longer working hours, however, do not mean longer breaks, quite the opposite - the more difficult the content to master, the shorter the breaks should be. If your child plans to study intricate subjects in several turns, the first should be longer than the others.

How to remember better?

Just because a child has trouble remembering may mean using an ineffective strategy. Repetition alone can prove itself at the very beginning of a career in elementary school, then the amount of material requires more sophisticated techniques. When looking for a good strategy, it's important to know what improves the memory process. First of all, it is self-reliance - completing a task by yourself greatly increases memory performance compared to watching someone else's task perform. Instead of showing you how to solve a math problem, support your child to do it himself. The child should be praised for his involvement, asking support questions, helping to organize work or indicating the sources in which he will find help. Independence in finding information also favors better remembering - a child who puts a little effort into finding information or coming up with a solution will remember it better than his colleague to whom the same information was simply given.

Different methods for different tests

For many students, information about the form of checking knowledge is very important - especially older people know that you have to learn differently for the test with open questions, and differently for those with answers to choose from. What is the difference? Even if the child only reads his notes, during the closed text he will probably recognize among the mismatched answers those that he saw in the read texts. It may, however, have difficulty extracting unfixed content from memory and fail on tasks that require reproduction - that is, answering an open question. It is worth making your child aware that reading (i.e. relying on pictorial traces) is not synonymous with learning (creating verbal traces). He can use this knowledge by assessing which parts of the material he will acquire accurately, and which are less important, superficially.

So, what to do to learn efficiently?

First of all, the student should do homework and learn at fixed times, so that there is still time for pleasure, rest or hobby realization. In case of tests from a larger material, it is worth planning the time to study well in advance to calmly acquire knowledge. It should be remembered that a parent, aunt, grandmother or sister cannot give a ready solution to a task. Then we take away the child's possibilities of thinking, trying to solve the task, and finally analyzing what field it is worth devoting time to. The parent is meant to be help but not the answer. Let's teach children independence!

Bibliography:

Jagodzińska, M. (2013). Psychologia pamięci: badania, teorie, zastosowania.

Gliwice: Wydawnictwo Helion.

by Natalia Mirosz

Child and homework

Overloaded school

In today’s reality of Polish education, homework is an integral part of school duties. They complement the material learned during the teaching lessons, its consolidation and, in a way, the implementation of the assumptions of the core curriculum. Educational programs are heavily overloaded, that is why the amount of homework from class to class increases and accumulates. Children's free time is therefore very limited and centers around homework, which often requires the attention and help of parents.

Check or not check?

Checking the lessons done by your child is worth practicing. However, do not look for errors severely! People learn in the process; it is good to emphasize that mistakes are a natural element and kind inattention is a way to learn. Verification of own mistakes perfectly consolidates the improved knowledge. The parent's role is support, constructive commentary and clear praise for efforts and regularity.

How to comment on children's efforts?

Constructively!

Praise is a message that adds wings, encourages further efforts, and strengthens the relationship. That is why it is also worth praising in situations of partial task completion. Try to avoid generalizations (e.g. It's all wrong). Constructive assessment extracts individual parts draw attention to the manner of performance, correctness, and approach to work. Specification at what stage the mistake was made and what exactly needs improvement. Extract the positive part of the work and motivate to act.

When the child has difficulty with the material?

It all depends on how much free time a parent can devote to the child. When a child does not understand the instructions and repeated the same mistakes many times, he becomes reluctant to learn. This is the time when parents are most needed. The difficulty is that the child is not able to perform the task alone, and we want to teach him this independence.

Patience and teaching aids

The golden rule of small steps will also work this time! Just like the parent's great patience and a large set of home teaching aids. Sticks for counting, abacus, calligraphy pattern of written letters, spelling dictionary, multiplication table - available on the student's desk, will support him during the struggle with the task. The more attractive the items are, the more likely they will be to use them. There are also a lot of educational games on the market that will help turn learning into fun. This will teach a small student both perseverance and faith in the possibility of overcoming problems. Greater involvement in the development of the material will make memorization lighter.

Difficult tasks - difficult emotions

Nerves, anger and frustration can naturally appear during hardships, quenching them is difficult and they are not always successful. Regulation of difficult emotions is, however, an extremely important life competence, and school difficulties are a natural field for exercise. Although this often requires a parent to show their own example of good regulation of emotions, when the child needs to explain the same thing again, valuable help will be to help them name difficult emotions, understand their causes and choose the most appropriate actions.

Student - a small manager

Homework for each student is a challenge, even if it is not difficult in itself, it is associated with organizing your time. We know perfectly well that this is also a problem for many adults. You should plan your tasks diligently and with full commitment. Let's help children learn the value of daily routine. The constant rhythm of the day, where you have to do all the duties, from lessons to cleaning, allows you to become independent. The more the child organizes its own time properly, the better it will perform its subsequent duties.

Bibliography:

Joanna Łukasik "Spoko lekcja"

Iwona Czaja Chudyba „ Jak rozwijać zdolności dziecka?”

by Natalia Mirosz